I am regretting the fact that i haven’t written in this blog in months. It’d be healthy to look back at some of the growth and confusion this heart has faced since coming ‘home’.
I’m tired of giving a day-by-day account of my life. It never used to be that way, but looking back this blog was headed in that direction. I want to write what i’m feeling, without the fear of being judged or called out. Don’t get me wrong, the accountability is needed, but i believe there is a fine line that we need to be careful to not cross. The line between judging and keeping one accountable.
My hearts been through some weird stuff lately. Some sad stuff, some good stuff….and some really foreign stuff.
Before i came home from Virginia, i thought i had a lot of my life figured out.
I didn’t.
Everything i thought or had planned…changed. I’m not sure why exactly. i didn’t ask for it to, i didn’t expect it to, and i didn’t necessarily want it to, but it changed and i’m okay with that.
I am not okay, however with hurting other people. In deliberate actions or unexpected interruptions of fore-mentioned plans.
That is the tight rope i’m walking, currently. Balancing on a thin line between happiness and hurt, honestly walking with the fear of tipping either way.
I am only human, i suppose.
I am so grateful to have had kala and joy. They have truly been my best friends, my sisters. They have made coming back to GA a decision that i don’t regret. They are home to me. I love those two girls with all of the love in my heart. I am thankful for their ever constant friendship, concern & unconditional love and laughter.
Despite how my heart continues to straddle the fence, floating in the grey areas between white and black, i really have had the times of my life recently. My friends are the best, and GA’s not so bad either 
I do however, miss my family a lot.
I miss my moms cooking & nagging.
I miss my dad constantly stirring up stuff in my heart.
I miss my sister. Everything about her. I miss annoying her. And i miss her stealing my clothes to wear to school.
I miss my brother. I miss his sweet heart and constant hugs.
and last but not least…
i miss Sadie Mae…my lil cuddle buddy.
that is all.
